


You don’t even know my heart is yours to break

by eagererudite



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M, carwash siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2015-10-15
Packaged: 2018-04-26 13:35:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5006704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eagererudite/pseuds/eagererudite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wash thought after all this time he would be okay. That he had finally accepted and moved on from all the horrors that happened to him and his team. He really thought he would be okay; then he saw Tucker in the suit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You don’t even know my heart is yours to break

“Sup fuckers! Like my new get up?” Tucker asks bursting into the barracks where the other survivors had regrouped. There was a wave of congratulations from everyone in the barracks. Well, almost everyone. Wash was silent. As Tucker is about to heckle Wash for not telling him he looked bomb as fuck, he feels someone step up behind him.

“Take. That. Off. Tucker.” Carolina orders dripping in venom.

“What no way! Have you seen me in this? I look fucking boss!”

“Tucker. Take that off. Now. That’s an order.”

“Fine.” He sulks into the bathroom to change into his fatigues.  “Fucking Carolina, I bet she’s pissed cause she did get to wear the badass Meta suit and I did.”

Back in the other room Carolina looks over to Wash, and before she can ask him if he’s okay, he excuses himself to his quarters for the evening. Once Tucker comes back out, Carolina loses it.  


“Are you fucking kidding me Tucker?” she screams pinning him to a wall, “After EVERYTHING he’s done for you. And your squad. You do this to him? You fucking show up wearing that? Have you lost your damn mind? Do you think about anyone but yourself ever? You know what Maine did to him, to US. And you still fucking show up wearing that like it’s some sort of fucking prize? Are you kidding me? Do you know how long it’s taken him to smile again? To trust someone again? And you, of all people, show up wearing THAT?” She drops her arms and takes a step back, “I just don’t get why it had to be you.”

Dumbfounded, Tucker just stares at her as she walks out of the room. What did she mean? Why did what have to be him? Church was the one who made him put the suit on. It wasn’t his idea. If she wants to scream at anyone why isn’t she screaming at Church? Oh. Right.

“I uh, I’m gonna go check on Wash.”

“Good idea, knucklehead.” Sarge grumbles.

Casually strolling out of the room turns to sprinting through the halls the moment Tucker is out of eyesight from the rest of his troops. Flying through the hallway, he actually runs by Wash’s room. A loud smash stops him in his tracks, having him realize where he is.

“Oh no” he breaths, realizing the smash came from Wash’s quarters. He opens the door, which to his surprise is left unlocked.

“Wash?” He calls more desperately than he meant to. No response. Wash isn’t in the main room, so Tucker makes his way to the bathroom. As he opens the door, his heart stops.

Broken shards of mirror are everywhere and Wash is curled up in a ball sobbing on the floor.

“Wash?” Tucker whispers reaching over to put a hand on him. Wash immediately recoiled from the touch swinging wildly to get Tucker as far from him as possible. Curling tighter into himself, he starts hyperventilating.

“Wash. What can I do for you? How can I help you?” Tucker pleads. Wash just shakes his head. Fuck. Doc told him this would happen, not that he ever believed him. That one day it would all catch up to him. This whole ‘do it on my own’ thing would fall apart and Wash would fall apart. He just never expected him to crumble to the ground and become non-verbal. But that’s okay, Tucker can handle this, for a decent amount of time Tucker and Jr communicated in ‘yes or no’ questions. This can’t be all that different.

“Wash,” Tucker is now speaking slowly and softly, “I’m going to ask you yes or no questions, all I need you to do is shake your head. Can you do that for me?” There is a long pause before Wash moves, but he nods between the gasping.

“Do you want me to leave?” Wash shakes his head.

“Is there anything I can do to help you?” Another head shake.

“Does me talking help?” This time he nods.

“Is this my fault?” Wash hitches his breath, then shakes his head.

“Was it the suit?” A very slow nod.

“You miss him don’t you?” An even slower nod.

“God Wash, I’m so sorry. I should’ve known. I didn’t mean it.” Wash nods.

“You know I wouldn’t try to hurt you right? That I wasn’t thinking and I’m an idiot. And damn it Wash, I’m so sorry.” He whispers the apology over the frog now resting in his throat. Tears start to well up in his eyes. His heart starts to break as the gravity of what he did washes over him.

“Wash? Can I hold your hand?” He knows it’s a longshot, but he thinks maybe contact may help ground Wash. But he doesn’t move, no response. Tucker was so intent on watching Wash’s head, he didn’t notice that he hand uncurled his fist and pushed it a few inches from his body. Tucker tentatively places his hand on Wash’s. Wash rolls his hand over to take Tucker’s. As their fingers intertwine, Wash’s breath begins to steady.

They sit like that for what feels like hours. Wash breathing slower and slower with his hand in Tucker’s, who hasn’t moved a muscle since Wash took his hand as to not spook him. Eventually Wash opens his eyes, and looks at Tucker and whispers, “I’m so tired.”

Tucker bursts into tears. He scoots backward to rest his head on the wall behind him and just sobs repeating how sorry he is. Tucker never meant to hurt Wash. Sure he was a pain in the ass, like all the time, but he never meant to hurt him. Wash knows that. He’s as close to family as he has, with Church dead and all. He really fucked up this time, and he knows it. Movement next to him, pulls Tucker from his thoughts. Wash inches closer to Tucker, putting his head in his lap and curling up around the younger soldier. Attempting to pull himself together, Tucker wipes his eyes and clears his throat.

“C’mere Wash, it’s okay buddy.” Tucker whispers, pulling Wash into his lap. After getting settled, Wash nuzzles his head into Tucker’s chest. Tucker smiles and pulls him closer.

“Do you want to go lay down, Wash?” Wash nods into his chest. Tucker adjusts his grip on Wash, and picks him up, carrying the older man to bed. He lays Wash down gently, wiggling the blanket out from under him and tucking him into bed. Wash closes his eyes and Tucker takes a moment to look at him. Wash looks exhausted and paler than usual. Sighing, he turns to leave him to sleep.

A hand grabs his wrist, followed by a barely audible “Stay” and a slightly louder “please”. Tucker obliges and crawls into bed behind Wash, pulling him in to his body. Wash rolls over, burying his face in Tucker’s chest and tangles his legs in his own.

“You know I could never hurt you like that on purpose, right?” Tucker asks the top of Wash’s head. Wash simply replies with a nod and a nuzzle.

Suddenly what Carolina said to him earlier clicks, ‘Do you know how long it’s taken him to smile again? To trust someone again? And you, of all people, show up wearing THAT? I just don’t get why it had to be you.’ The last person who wore that suit meant the world to Wash, and he betrayed him and died in front of him. Wash was upset with the memory of the Meta, Maine, sure. But more upset by the idea of history repeating itself with Tucker. Wash couldn’t handle losing another person like that. Not someone else he cared so much for.

“She’s right you know.” Wash mumbles into Tucker’s chest, lifting his head slightly he continues, “I do trust you, with my life. And I haven’t done that since the last man who wore that suit broke my heart. That’s why it hurt so much today, to see you in it. You don’t even know my heart is yours to break.” He buries is face back in Tucker’s chest, not expecting the conversation to go past there. And for a while it doesn’t.

Tucker just lays there with Wash in his arms, thinking about what he said ‘ you don’t even know my heart is yours to break’. Of course Tucker knows what that means, he’s not an idiot. But seriously? Wash? The soldier of steal? Having _feelings_ for him? And by the sound of it pretty damn strong ones. How did  he not see that? They spent so much time together laughing, fighting, training, and desperately trying to keep each other alive. That’s when it hits him, he didn’t notice because the relationship between the two evolved slowly, a snail’s pace really, but it evolved equally. He never noticed Wash’s feelings for him, because his feelings developed at the same time. The progression of the relationship seemed natural to Tucker.

Taking a huge risk, Tucker gently places a kiss onto Wash’s forehead, “I love you too, Wash.”

“David.” Wash says pulling his head back to look at Tucker. “My real name is David.”

“And I thought Washington was dumb.” Tucker teases, a smile creeping across his face. Wash returns the smile and the forehead kiss, then nuzzles back into Tucker’s chest for the first, but definitely not the last time.


End file.
